The Useless Tree

Repeat after me: A Father is more than a sperm-producing machine…

        One of the dangers of having a blog, and writing 5-6 days a week, is repetition.  You just cannot help but repeat yourself once in a while.  Well, when I saw this headline in today’s NYT, I could not let it sit there without comment:


Sleek, Fast and Focused: The Cells That Make Dad Dad

      Cute opening for a story about sperm.   But, as I have argued before, cells do not make dad "dad."  "Father" is a social role, not simply a biological fact.  A sperm donor, if that is all he does, is no more a father than is the gynecologist, who also assists physically in the birthing process.   Could we please get away from our obsession with biological "answers" and remember that fathers, and mothers, have to fulfill their obligations as parents in order to be worthy of the title…..  Sheesh…..

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Sam Crane
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2 responses to “Repeat after me: A Father is more than a sperm-producing machine…”

  1. Chris Avatar
    Chris

    Perhaps it’s time for a distinction in names — perhaps “father” can refer to biological lineage, and “dad” can refer to the social role. Some fathers are not dads, and some dads are not fathers, whereas sometimes a person is both.

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  2. The Humanaught Avatar
    The Humanaught

    Well said both of you. As fatherhood (and dadhood?) are on the horizon for me at some point, my thoughts constantly wander to the role ‘dad’ plays. I think society and nature put a lot of obstacles in the way of a father being a good dad. This is, by no means, an excuse not to be – simply an observation.
    Motherhood, though having its ups and downs as well, is born right into the process. Giving birth to a baby provides a woman a connection to their child that -naturally at least- the father can never have. Despite the slick and fast ones, we can hardly say we carried the little tyke in us (let alone for the better part of a year).
    I think that makes it all the more important for fathers to work hard at being good dads. I was fortunate, I got a great one. Hopefully when the time comes I can not only step up and fill those shoes, but also add to it.

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