I’m not sure if today is the exact day (because the exact day is calculated based on the Chinese calender), but it is the day usually referred to as Qing Ming.  This is the day when, according to a Chinese custom dating back to the Tang dynasty, that people should sweep the graves of the ancestors and family members and remember those who have departed.

     So, first of all, I want to mention Aidan.   I will go to his grave today.

     The question that comes to mind on this day is: how should we go about remembering those who have died?  There are, of course, specifically defined rituals of grave sweeping and food preparation and the like that have been passed down from generation to generation of Chinese people over the years.  But how do these ancient practices get expressed in modern terms?

     China Daily today gives us a little hint: 

Show dignity to the dead

The Qing Ming or Tomb Sweeping Festival is a time to reflect on one’s family past and show respect for deceased loved ones.

Traditionally
we honor our ancestors at their graves, where we are supposed to "meet"
them. We sweep their tombs, give them food and wine, and burn paper
money for the netherworld.

Seemingly, there is a kind of communication at this moment between the living and the dead.

Thanks to technology, tomb sweeping is now just a mouse-click away.

Funeral
homes have launched websites for those who are too busy or too far away
to visit the graves of the deceased. The online memorial halls offer
services such as virtual flowers, memorial messages and tribute songs.

Can this virtual tomb sweeping adequately substitute for traveling to family graves?

      As with most rhetorical questions in Chinese, the implied answer here is "no". 

     The editorial goes on to call for a formal, public holiday on Qing Ming, to allow people to actually go and be present with their families and take the time to communicate with the departed.  If the purpose here is to allow for something closer to what a Confucian sensibility would deem appropriate, I think the editorialists are right.  Virtual tomb sweeping is not enough.  The idea of Ritual, the thoughtful performance of our social duties, requires a physical commitment.  It is best to be there.  Of course, givent the demands of modern life, we cannot always be there.  But it is right for employers and governments to provide the opportunity for us to be there, if not at the gravesides of our departed relatives and friends, at least with our families, together as we remember the dead.

     In this sense, a Confucian would support the Family Medical Leave Act, but would go further to embrace something like a family solidarity leave act as well.  It takes time.

     So, today I will visit Aidan, brush the snow off his stone and feel his presence.