To anyone new to this blog: I am making a habit of blogging the NYT "Modern Love" column that runs in the Sunday edition. 

    In this week’s piece, Jessica Krasilovsky tells us about her continuing  habit of hitchhiking  and  the romantic possibilities that come from it.  She recounts in detail one particular liaison, which leaves me with a sense of wonderment at the spontaneity of it all.  There is an obvious Chuang Tzu resonance here; so, let me indulge in the obvious for a moment…

     I imagine we have all had those momentary interactions, fortuitous crossings of life-paths, with someone who fits in some wonderful way.  Maybe they become one-night stands or dalliances of a few weeks; or maybe they fade as fast as they appeared.  Or maybe they become the stuff of life-long commitment.  Of course, many of us may find ourselves in settled relationships that disallow following through on spontaneous connections.  Krasilovsky’s story is, at least, a reminder of how alluring free-spiritedness can be. 

    In a way, it is that spirit that Chuang Tzu is reaching for in the following passage:

Just let your mind wander along in the drift of things.  Trust yourself to what is beyond you – let it be the nurturing center.  Then you’ve made it.  In the midst of all this, is there really any response?  Nothing can compare to simply living out your inevitable nature.  And there’s nothing more difficult. (56)

     Just drift along… It seems so nice.  But Chuang Tzu himself tells us there is nothing more difficulty.  How many obligations and conventions and taboos get in the way of just drifting along wherever the moment may take us?  Chaung Tzu, like Krasilovsky, says, just do it, just "wander boundless and free" (a translation of the title of the first chapter of his book).   But at least one question comes to mind here, especially a mind that has been married for twenty five years: is that enough?  Is hitchhiking from one spontaneous relationship to another enough to provide a sense of identity and security in life? 

     The short answer for Chuang Tzu is: yes, it is enough.  It is enough because identity and security are ephemeral and insubstantial.  Life is flux, beyond our control.  It is difficult to recognize and embrace this because it requires giving up on conventional understandings of identity and security.  That’s why "there’s nothing more difficult."

     But, in the end, Chuang Tzu believes that there will be more serenity and contentment in life if you just yield to the circumstances of the moment:

If you serve your own mind, joy and sorrow rarely appear.  If you know what’s beyond your control, if you know it follows its own inevitable nature and you live at peace – that is Integrity perfected. (54)

    There is a cost here: you give up joy – more extreme forms of happiness – in order to overcome sorrow.  But Integrity (and by this he means realizing the potential of one’s existence) is the pay-off.